The Groom, Groomsmen, Best Man and Ushers, who are they?!

The Groom is the man who is about to get married or has recently been married (or is in the process of being married!) The full and proper title is ‘Bridegroom’ as I was corrected by a Toastmaster at one wedding a few years back! But mostly they are referred to as The Groom.

The Groomsmen or Ushers are the party assigned to support the Groom during the wedding with duties such as helping the Groom to get ready, being transported on time to the wedding, directing guests to their seats, and general support during the wedding day. Wikipedia states ‘Groomsmen’ is the USA term and ‘Ushers’ in the British Isles.

In a large Groomsmen party some will be ‘Ushers’ and their duties are to specifically Usher guests to their seats.

However, In my experience the term ‘Groomsmen’ seems to be used more than ‘Ushers’.

The Best Man (or Best Woman, or Best Person) is selected to be the person in charge of the Groomsmen/Ushers and has the highest responsibly to the Groom. He/she will also be expected to make the Best Man’s speech (see below). They are typically the Groom’s brother or best friend, and it is not uncommon to have two or three, if the Groom can’t pick just one!

There is often an expectation that the Best Man’s speech will be the highlight of the speeches, and be humorous. This can put undue pressure on the Best Man if he/she/they are not naturally funny! My advice is to be yourself, don’t Google, they have all been heard before!! Avoid talking about past girlfriends and keep it clean. I have seen too many disasters and butt-clenching moments that have cause embarrassment and regret. Remember there are often children and older relatives present (and the Bride’s Father….).Test your speech out to close friends and/or relatives, it helps with getting your timing/pace right on the day and avoid getting it wrong.

Alan Barnes